It all began with a pair of shoes. You know the ones, the bright white Nike Monarchs. They arrived in the mail on Thursday, June 19th and I had to break them in before the big day (July 22nd.) As fate would have it, they wouldn't be broken in too much. An hour after the dad shoe graced my feet, your mother's water broke - 5 weeks early. We were confused, excited and unsure all at the same time. Was this real? Were we ready? What do we need to pack?

Turns out, it was real. I initially asked your mom if she was certain that her water broke - Reddit led me to believe that there are false water breaks for woman, but sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, it was time to become your father.

We headed down to Christ Hospital where we would spent the next 10 hours awaiting your arrival. Charlie, I want you to know that your Mom is an incredibly strong woman. I've never been so proud of another person, as I was watching her go through contractions and labor and fighting all the pain with grace. She made it look easy. Around 4:42 a.m., you were born (disclaimer: that is the time I remember, the last month has been a whirlwind, so that is subject to be incorrect.)

As I see you being born I'm envisioning all of the experiences we'll get to spend together; reading books, walking the dogs, vacations, sports, going to the zoo among other thoughts. You're going to be my best friend and I hope to be someone you can look up to and be proud of. I've made mistakes, and you will too, but the key is too learn from those mistakes and become a man that remains calm, always acts rightly, and becomes the leader of his household.

Back to your birth. There was something not right. Your breathing was labored and within 15 minutes later the NICU Pediatrician listening to your lungs rushes you to NICU for scans and puts you on oxygen. This was absolutely devastating for your mother and I. This is not how it is in the movies. We have no idea what is wrong or even if you'll make it. Your mother couldn't move due to the epidural, so i comfort her for some time then make my way back to you. When I find you next, you're on a bed with a CPAP and sensors, receiving X-rays among other tests. The hospital was a flurry of action to diagnose the issue. After the X-Ray came through, the doctors inform us you have CDH, Congential Diaghragmatic Hernia. This is even scarier after a quick google search shows a 40-50% mortality rate. This moment quickly helped renew my relationship with God and pray for your recovery. Basically what happened is that there was a tiny hole in your diaphragm and when you took your first breath, the negative pressure caused your spleen and bowels to be sucked into your chest cavity. This is very serious and we were blessed to have had you here in Cincinnati, where one of the best Children's hospitals in the world is located and there was a special department specifically for this condition. Within an hour or so the transport team arrives and you're whisked away to Children's hospital.

At this point, my job is to remain calm and to be a supportive husband to your mother. We were both distraught and nearly inconsolable. We each had our moments where the emotions were overwhelming, but the other person stepped up in those times to be the strength of our family. After hours of supporting your mom, I had to see you. I felt bad since she was bedridden, but for my own sanity, I needed to know you would be okay. When I first see you at Children's, the situation looks grim. You're on a ventilator with all sorts of tubes and sensors on and in you monitoring every aspect of your body. That said, I could see you were going to make it. It was at this moment I first was able to touch you. You grabbed my hand and it reassured me that you were going to fight.

Without making this post overly long, we spent 3 weeks in NICU watching you recover. You amazed all the doctor's and caregiver's with your recovery speed. You're incredible Charlie. Every step of the way you exceeded all expectations. The days were long and the emotions were in a flurry, but we knew you would be better on the other side.

Charlie. When you read this, I'll likely be gone. Be there for your mother and become the man of the family. There are four tenets of stoicism in which I strive to live my life. Take them and live them. I'll add a quote to each, you'll understand.

Wisdom: “The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own” —Epictetus

Temperance: “Pleasures, when they go beyond a certain limit, are but punishments.” – Seneca

Courage: “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear." – Mark Twain

Justice: “And a commitment to justice in your own acts. Which means: thought and action resulting in the common good. What you were born to do.” — Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 9.31

Tell your mother I love her.

Dad